Spyjinks (aka How to Get a DSL Modem)

I now have a DSL modem for when the DSL to my apartment actually gets connected. It was a bit of an adventure to get the thing and I will explain the technique so that others can obtain DSL modems more efficiently.

  1. Call speakeasy
  2. Sign up for DSL service
  3. Don't be in when UPS tries to deliver the DSL modem
  4. Go to the UPS tracking website and ask them to hold the package for pick-up
  5. Get annoyed because Third Ave gets cut in half by a bunch of stuff at the Cambridge/Somerville border
  6. Take a long annoying detour to deal with the severed Third Ave
  7. Get your package
  8. Decide that you don't want to take the detour again
  9. Find the break in the barbed wire and hop the fence into the MBTA train repair facility
  10. Hide in the shadows while a train slowly backs some cars into a hangar because you are trespassing
  11. Book it across the train tracks
  12. Find a gap in the barbed wire on the other side and hop the fence
  13. Jump down off a big stone wall
  14. Return home
  15. Congratulations, you now have a DSL modem

Ok, I guess that's not really the best way to get a DSL modem but that's how I did it.