Bizarro Gashes

I appear to have the strange ability to cut myself with things you wouldn't think you could get cut with but make sense after explanation. My two examples of my executing this skill are when I cut myself on a hamburger this summer and when I cut myself on a hammer yesterday. Ooh, they both start with ham, I wonder if this means that I'm fated to cut myself on a ham at some point in the future. Anyway, you might be asking yourself how the Hell I might have managed to cut myself on a hamburger and a hammer and you will find the answers forthright. The hamburger was frozen at the time, and as frozen hamburgers go was in a large stack. I was in the process of trying to separate a patty for myself and it came free rather violently and sliced across my hand. As for yesterday, and the hammer, I succeeded in stepping really hard on the claw-end of my hammer and it cut right in making a great big gash on the bottom of my foot. So take this as a lesson, beware hamburgers and hammers as more than just blunt instruments, they've got some piercing power too.


Why don't you feed me...



Because I'm not a brilliant hamologist like Brak.

I think you should go all the way with this. Next, try cutting yourself on a pillow or a milkshake.