I am Hansel and Gretel...

...and McDonald's is the witch trying to fatten me up so she can eat me. I mean, come on, $1 for one apple pie and $1 dollar for two apple pies; I didn't want two but I'll be damned if I'm going to pass on a free apple pie. I probably would have been fine with paying 75¢ for one; McDonald's, unless your plan is to make less money, your economics are wrong.


Aren't you Jewish?

There's the problem.

I have the same one. It's my much weaker Semitic blood calling.