The Super Secret Value Meal

Super Secret Value Meal

McDonald's would like to have you believe that Value Meals are what you want and that they're cheaper than other options but they're pushing forward half-truths; Value Meals are what you want (or at least what I want when I'm not going for the sole purpose of buying fries) but they are not cheaper than the alternatives. The key to getting a good value at McDonald's is realizing that the sandwiches in Value Meals are really expensive (>$3) and that double cheeseburgers are on the dollar menu; in case you want a little wtf, a normal cheeseburger is more expensive at $1.09. The price of a regular sized Quarter Pounder Value Meal is $5.09 pre-tax and the price of a double cheeseburger, large fries and large coke is $4.38 pre-tax, so where's your value now, Value Meal? Yeah, that's right Value Meal, you got nothing, punk.

This however is not the end of the story, we haven't gotten to the Super Secret Value Meal yet. Ok, so about how I was just saying that Value Meals aren't a value, it's not entirely true because there's an exception. The exception is what I've decided to call the Super Secret Value Meal, which is a bit of a misnomer because it's not so much super secret as just kinda secret, but Super Secret Value Meal sounds a lot cooler than Kinda Secret Value Meal. I discovered the Super Secret Value Meal when I looked at my receipt and noticed a funny line that said VALUE MEAL SAVINGS -0.49; you save money when you buy a sandwich, fries and drink combo, even if it's not listed as a value meal. George: 1, McDonald's: >1,000,000,000 served.


Good lord! Your receipt reflects everything I have eaten today! Since I was at work at 9 am, I had a Coke for breakfast. Then, on my drive home, we stopped at McDonalds and I got two cheeseburgers and a medium fries, which is the only thing I ever get there. Clearly, the "Super Secret" part of your Super Secret Value Meal is the fact that it has the ability to read minds...

holy crap george, this is the most convoluted piece of prose on the internets.

could you try and make less sense

Hippo, are you still in Internet preschool? If this is the most convoluted prose you've read online, then you obviously haven't been looking around too much. You're probably the kind of guy who, if you sold your computer to Crazy Bartholomew's Discount Digitalia, would be referred to as the nerd equivalent of the little old lady who only drove her car to the grocery store and to church on Sunday. Jesus Christ.

Hippo: yes, I can certainly try to make less sense in the future; sorry I let you down.