At some point in high school, while gallivanting around New England on inexpensive gasoline and end of the day donuts some random guy at Dunkin' Donuts gave us on the cheap, I developed my first set of canonical rules to live by:
- When you're chucking a danish, everything's a cop car.
- When in doubt, go left.
- When in doubt, buy double.
These were born empirically from the demands of the time. A few years later, an addition was made:
- Even floors do not exist.
This rule was born from spite and soon after another rule was introduced to provide a loophole:
- Apathy is the lazy man's whatever.
Spite and loopholes aren't really good ways to build a morality or worldview so I am retiring rules #4 and #5.