Not all rules live forever

At some point in high school, while gallivanting around New England on inexpensive gasoline and end of the day donuts some random guy at Dunkin' Donuts gave us on the cheap, I developed my first set of canonical rules to live by:

  1. When you're chucking a danish, everything's a cop car.
  2. When in doubt, go left.
  3. When in doubt, buy double.

These were born empirically from the demands of the time. A few years later, an addition was made:

  1. Even floors do not exist.

This rule was born from spite and soon after another rule was introduced to provide a loophole:

  1. Apathy is the lazy man's whatever.

Spite and loopholes aren't really good ways to build a morality or worldview so I am retiring rules #4 and #5.